"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
--Dave Barry
 
Future Jailbreaks
Check back soon, more Ophir events coming...
Featured Merchandise
Behind Bars Everywhere

(No, it's a DVD, not a peep show!) Find out more here!
Know Your Inmates

Alias: WILFORD

Wanted for using a schoolgirl as a tuba mute.
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Ophir: EXPOSED! Reviewed in The American Rag
Someone at "America's Largest Jazz and Ragtime Newspaper" had the nerve to review our DVD. Luckily for us, they had good things to say.

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It's the easiest test you'll ever take... because we've already given you the answers!

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