If you've been looking for a way to take Ophir home, but couldn't figure out where to put 60 guys and an assortment of musical instruments, have we got a deal for you!
Introducing our latest travesty: Ophir:EXPOSED! It's our brand-new (but already banned by the FCC) DVD, featuring an in-depth documentary by the Eye Witless News team, who chased us around with cameras for the last year trying to uncover the secrets about our background that have puzzled audiences for years -- like, "Who ARE these guys? And who let them out?"
Ophir:EXPOSED! is jam-packed with the songs, antics, and FUN that you've come to expect from a live Ophir Prison performance. We spared every expense to bring you this hilarious, you-are-there DVD that you can use to prove that yes, you really DID witness what your friends and relatives tried to have you committed for when you told them about us.
Get your copy of Ophir:EXPOSED! at a value price of $19.95 plus $2.50 S/H (shipping and handling)... oh, what the heck... make it $25 and we'll throw in a pin! But you'll have to act fast before they sell out ... or the cops catch us, whichever comes first. Send $25 (in small unmarked bills) to me, Rufus T. Whizbang at Ophir Prison Band, PO Box 94, Folsom, CA 95763-0094.
Each DVD has passed inspection and been certified by an Ophir Prison trustee (all of whom are also certifiable).
If you're not completely satisfied, you can return the unused portion of your DVD and we will return the unused portion of your money.