Most Wanted

ALIAS: DORK Wanted for opening a spit valve on a public sidewalk.

ALIAS: BIG DOG Wanted for unlawfully wire tapping a (sousa)phone.

ALIAS: MELLO Wanted by the ASPCA for extreme cruelty to (trum)pets.

ALIAS: FLATTOP Wanted in connection with the unauthorized use of written dynamics.

ALIAS: TSTS Wanted for dumping toxic waste... from a spit valve.