Most Wanted

ALIAS: IGOR Wanted for loitering around beer halls where loud singing is heard.

ALIAS: DORK Wanted for opening a spit valve on a public sidewalk.

ALIAS: BONER Wanted for attempting to drink a circle of fifths.

ALIAS: SAX MANIAC Wanted for lewd conduct with a bagpipe.

ALIAS: RIMSHOT Wanted for marching to his own drummer.