"My grandmother is over 80 and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks straight from the bottle."
--Henny Youngman
 

Most Wanted


ALIAS: TOOL

Wanted for indecent exposure of a trombone slide.

ALIAS: LIPS

Wanted in connection with the maiming and dismemberment of a copyrighted song.

ALIAS: BENDER

Wanted for exposing himself to an innocent instrument. Use extreme caution and keep your instruments on hand and locked up.

ALIAS: BONER

Wanted for attempting to drink a circle of fifths.

ALIAS: AXEL

Wanted for public drunkeness and disorderly conduct. May be in possession of multiple beers at once. Use caution.



 
 
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